Wednesday, March 7, 2012

And I was doing so well...

I went to my weekly appt yesterday and all was going well until my nurse practitioner informed me that my Ob would be on vacation the week that Laney is due. Great. So she tells me I have two options. 1. I can be induced next wednesday so that Dr. Walker will be there to deliver my baby. 2. I can go into labor naturally and risk having a stranger basically come in, deliver the baby, and walk out never to be seen again. Fantastic. I was so relaxed up to this point. I wasn't very anxious about when Laney arrives, I just kept counting down the days expecting her to come around her due date. I didn't let myself get all hyped up about the possibility of her coming early. But now I feel so much pressure to have her before Dr. Walker leaves next weekend.
I'd really rather not induce this time around. Yes, I did it with Jareth and it his birth was practically perfect but I wanted to experience going into labor on my own. Also, Laney hasn't dropped yet and Jareth had dropped by about 36 weeks. I'm afraid of going in to be induced and labor not progressing making me need a c-section. That's the very thing I want to avoid. Yes, I'd like to go into labor naturally and yes, I'd like to see if I can go without an epidural. But above all else I don't want to risk having a c-section. It's so tempting to induce. It would be easier on us and our family/friends to plan ahead and there is peace of mind knowing that she is coming and that I won't have to wait any longer. The longer I'm pregnant the more uncomfortable I will be and the bigger I'll get and the more anxious I will be. But what If I choose to be induced and end up having a c-section and I don't get the experience that I so desperately want.
If someone else were in my position I know what I'd say. I would tell them to wait it out and let the baby come on it's own. But that's so much easier said than done. I will see Dr. Walker on Monday and talk to her about it. Maybe I can get Jon to go with me. He seems more level headed than I am right now. If anyone out there is reading this, say a prayer for me!

34lbs gained

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